Feng Shui the kids and other decorating ideas for 2011

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SINGLE WORKING MOM!!!!
Sticking with the Superhero subject, I'd just like to spew 11 single and working mom decorating ideas out there for 2011. You can follow them, too, even if you have a nanny:

1) Take a hot salt bath: This is a real home decorating idea and was not mine.  I gleaned it from Jayme Barret's "Feng Shui Your Life", where on pages 28 and 29 she suggests starting out your Feng Shui journey with a hot salt bath to cleanse your energy field.  You may choose to stop your journey here.

2) Feng Shui the kids:  They are moving energy anyway.

4) Don't buy any furniture that has to be screwed together: If you do, please don't put it in your love and relationships center.

5) Skip step three: In any case, you won't have time.

6) Try not to stand while drinking coffee: If you must multi-task while enjoying your morning cup, make sure it is while talking to a good friend, reading my blog, or while cleansing your energy field as in step 1.

7) Keep emergency alcoholic beverages on hand: Heaven forbid you should put your faith in a Saint Bernard.

8) Wear your sunglasses inside: This has a three-fold effect: the dust won't show, you will look cool and your crow's feet will have miraculously disappeared.

9) Make sound investments: I have already gotten an extra 8 hours of sleep this year with only one DVD: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

10) Spider plants:  They need very little water and light and they breed by themselves, thereby validating the working mother and the principle that neglect is a valuable educator and that children learn through "natural" consequences.

11) If all else fails, evacuate: You can't see the dust, the mess, the empty fridge or the dirty dishes when you are out of the house

Yours with parachute on,
Mrs Crocodile

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Kamikaze Mom is the new Soccer Mom

This post is for the moms. Brothers, half-sisters, boyfriends, ex-husbands, great-grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, 2nd cousins once removed and friends and enemies of moms and police and even military officials, suicide bombers and reptiles are allowed to read it, too.
A friend recently referred to me as Supermom.  I resent that.  Contrary to popular belief I do not often race around my small, cheaply decorated 2 bedroom flat with a shiny red cape and a leotard on, brandishing a large gold M on my chest.  Of course if I had a much larger house on several levels with a cleaning lady, I might be able to run a bit faster without worrying about running into something, being tripped by children's toys, shoes and slippers, or as usually happens, a child. 
Actually if I tried, I'm quite certain the cape would make me look a lot more like little red riding hood running from the wolf.  Which is an image I've been trying to avoid.  But it is not that.  The fact of the matter is, I am not Supermom and I have never aspired to be.  Kamikaze Mom sums it up better than anything else.  And to be fair most of the moms I know are Kamikaze Moms even if they don't work outside the house.  They feel like that some days.  The best parenting advice I ever got was "Look after yourself first, then look after your relationship with you partner, then look after your kids"  Sounds great in theory, but oh so hard to do.  Kamikaze Mom is that feeling of constantly running and even when you do get around to doing something for yourself, like the yoga class, it leaves you stiff for a week.  It's the feeling you have when you scream at your kids to leave you alone for five minutes or as I have been known to cry: "Can't you two be normal for five minutes?"  So I think I'd rather be a Kamikaze mom than super mom, one gets more leeway and doesn't always have to be nice.

Here is a blog I found on the subject: she says a lot of things I think but I wouldn't dare to write on my blog, and I love reading her for that: suburban kamikaze
Oh and a link for a song.  The words worked for me.
Kamikaze Mom
So as you go out there and attack the world and the New Year, New You thing, Moms, armed with coffee and red cape or alternatively an airplane and a shot of vodka, remember the words to the song:  

"Hey mom!  You’re the best!  You really stand out from all the rest.  I think I changed my mind, I’m gonna keep you for the rest of time.  I want you to be a Kamikaze Mommy."

With love from the front,

Mrs Crocodile

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How to make something seemingly boring actually quite interesting.

I'm not very good at giving advice, since I refuse to take my own. But here's how I've made something seemingly boring into something which is actually fascinating.  I had thought doing the costumes for Doubt, by John Patrick Shanley, would be an easy one. How hard could it be? I was thinking to myself: four characters, all of whom don't actually express their character in the dress, two nuns, a priest and the boy's mother, right?  I mean it's not going to be a question of a mini-skirt for the younger one and a knee-length skirt for the older one.  There's no choice of color, like how does hot pink work for the younger nun?  Or how does antique rose fit for the older nun?  There may be some question of color in the priest's over garment he wears for sermons, non?  No.  It's not all as regimented as all that.  But then it is.  And then again it's quite individualistic when you start getting into the different orders of nuns.  To my surprise there is a lot of leeway.  I'm telling you this is ice-berg material here and I'm having fun.  So here I am: only four days into 2011 and I'm wild at work researching nun's habits, muslin undergarments, slips, blouses, bodices, white linen boarders, veils, tunics, wooden rosaries, wooden crucifixes, black scarf or brown cape, cowl neck, how to cut it on the bias, white caps, cassocks, those shiny scarf things that priests wear over their shoulders, the belts, the white collars and what a priest would wear for basketball practice. Who knew there was so much choice?  And who knew that one could be a dandy and still be devoted to God. Oscar Wilde missed his calling. Check out this amazing website in English and Italian for some of the garb: http://www.mariobianchetti.com/productList.asp?id_subcat=12
And if you want to get your hands on a veil or habit made in the good old US of A, check out this site: http://www.wrightscatalogue.com/
And more: http://www.glenfont.com/
But the best is this forum on how to make a nun's habit, maybe it's just me but everything is said here: http://anunslife.org/2008/03/24/how-to-make-a-nuns-habit/
Even some friars checked in on that forum.
Okay, okay don't take my advice, just go straight to that last forum and breathe in the world of someone else's world and if you're like me you might even have the realization that it's a lot like over here. 
Here in my world, have a wonderful 2011!
Mrs Crocodile

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King Tut, the cardinal and a transvestite walk into a bar...

King Tut, the cardinal and a transvestite walk into a bar.  It's no joke.  They might be in the cafeteria, taking a break from the Theater Basel's performance of Aida.  The transvestite is worried about her mom coming for the performance, the cardinal is playing on his nintendo game-boy while waiting in the wings and King-Tut rushes by because he has to help clean up the stage, which is really a football stadium left in shambles by the 100 or so performers who started out dressed as nice guys and gals going to the opera but then turn into a pack of wild hooligans who have to be caged in.  This production's last performance is December 28.  I'll miss working as a dresser with the likes of Stephan Widmer and Fabian Degen, but will look forward to their next incarnation in another production.  And isn't that just the nicest thing about theater?   You can be killed even entombed alive and come back to life without actually having to go through the trouble of death or birth, not to mention childhood and puberty.
Yours, shedding my skin,
Mrs Crocodile

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Sick Horses and Doubts...

I'm in bed with a sick horse next to me.  And life is rapidly changing all around me, going from one day knowing what the hell I'm doing to the next day, having no clue.  First, our dear friend Lassamp has come down with something, so when the children left the house for school, they put me in charge of her to take care of and give her medicine, so I crawled back into bed with the horse, since it said on my list (see my post from yesterday) that drinking coffee in bed while slowly waking up was feel-good.  It didn't say drinking coffee in bed with a sick horse was feel-good however, so I'm questioning the list and the symbolism of lying in bed with a sick horse has got my mind racing.  What does it all mean?  The horse is not dead and I'm not beating it, but you can't really say it was alive ever either since she's only a little white stuffed horse, so does that mean she's dead anyway?  Oh well.  There are too many uncertainties and it's better just to pretend to give the stuffed horse her medicine, get up, go to work and hope that she gets better soon and we won't really have to take her to the vet.

Speaking of doubts and uncertainties, you can watch this space for updates on   Upstart Entertainment's Spring production of Doubt by John Patrick Shanley.  I'm working with director Andy Tobler as the costume designer.  And the following quote particularly hit me while I was reading the play again, next to Lassamp: "I have been longing for the return of my peace of mind. "  It is spoken by Sister James, a young nun, who incidentally is a warm teacher and full of educational bravado as only a young teacher can be, about her teaching style, but also something else.  I think I was like that once, but not anymore, since the doubts crept in and made me ask if I should really be teaching anymore at all.  And now I've said it, what I've been trying to put into words for the better part of a year now.  The cat's out of the bag and the horse is still sick.  Stay with me readers and watch how the blog unfolds to reveal the real Mrs Crocodile.

Yours, doctoring sick and recently released animals,
Mrs Crocodile

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Making a list, checking it twice...

Two of my readers complained that this blog had changed from its beginnings.  They wanted to read more of my philosophical ramblings, or so they said, and they wanted to pin me down for a sure-fire direction that the blog should take, I think it's called a niche.  So I respond two ways: numero uno is, if I feel trapped, I'm going to run, and two, although I like the sound of the word niche, the definition is rather constraining and claustrophobic and makes me feel a bit helpless, such as an animal which has fallen into a pit, that is, when I really think about it.

Ah...now that's settled I can get on with the business of life and writing blogs.  This week my son dressed up as Santa Claus for St Nicholas Day and went to a friend's house to really play Santa and bring that family some presents.  It was completely his idea which involved me sewing a red coat with this awful fake fur that made such a mess when I cut it up I felt that my room had turned into a construction site.  I would put a picture up but I think he might kill me if he caught wind of it, so you're just going to have to imagine the cutest and skinniest Santa in the world with a burlap bag over his shoulder, walking off down the street, making every single person he crosses, smile a really big, broad smile.  He even rehearsed his Santa voice in the kitchen before he left, but I should mention, he refused to let me and his sister stuff a pillow in his pants.

There is just something about this time of year and lists that go together.  Maybe it's because everyone is so stressed, they have no time to write longer utterances so they have to reduce their writings to New Year's Resolutions and wish lists, but here is a another idea from my very dear friend of koo-ki fame.  She said she was writing a list of what makes her feel good.  It sounds incredibly simple and you know what?  It's really nice, one of the things was eating cookies and drinking milk.  So I ate cookies, drank milk and felt good.  Where is this going?  Well, I'm pretending to do some philosophical rambling as my readers wanted, but really, I'm encouraging you to rather than writing a list to Santa, be Santa yourself, since even a 9 year old will tell you, playing Santa is really fun and makes you feel good.
Yours, still thinking about the pillow
Mrs Crocodile

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Blogging it off

Blogging, like sewing and cutting things up into little pieces is good for my soul.  I read blogs that my friends write and blogs that they read, too.  It's a great way of keeping up with each other as long as when you actually meet in person you can still talk about something you haven't written about already and you keep saying to each other: "Oh yeah, I read about that on your blog".   This won't happen with Lady Mac Beth.  Her blog is a lovely new find! Bitter Sweet and Salty she's also an American in Basel.  She's really blogging it off and using it for her soul.  Bitter Sweet and Salty is so good I find myself clicking back more than I want to admit to check if she's posted again.  Well it's just yummy, like chewing on the fat, then funny and tasty, and serious and then funny again and about life in Switzerland and just life in situations.  I hope you enjoy it, too.
Chomp, chomp, swallow, gulp!
Mrs Crocodile

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