Message in a Bottle

Somewhere between Mumpf and Möhlin on the Rhine, I saw some trash, paddled over to it and as I usually do I picked it up to dispose of it properly but found a message in a PET bottle.  The message was a girl's address and a faded drawing from a town I've never heard of and will probably never visit in Switzerland.  It felt good.  I felt like next to the good dose of working out, I had accomplished something.  Got to my destination, packed up my SUP and started walking to the bus stop.  But wait!  Suddenly it hit me.  I was the lucky recipient of a message in a bottle.  I felt extremely blessed.  What are the odds?  Of all the time I had spent near water, on water, in water, I had never received such a message and likely never will again.  I've never heard of anyone receiving a message in a bottle.  It was simultaneously my find but I was its find.  I had hit treasure.  I had salvaged something.  That's the point, treasure is nothing more than a bit of air, possibly a sun-faded note, from a well-meaning person.  It's beautiful and a reason to be happy.  More than happy, blessed.  Sometimes writing a blog is a lot like writing a message in a bottle, unlike the direct recipient of a text message or the onslaught of spam in the email inbox, the message in a bottle arrives at exactly the person who needs it most.  Today, I send you my message in a bottle, and if I have any readers still out there after such a long time of not blogging, give me a shout!  Here is a message in a bottle for you:

Yours,
Mrs Crocodile

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Skeletons in the Closet: Ethical Fashion Choices

Those polyester bell-bottoms your dad wore in the sixties?  Still in a land-fill somewhere...

It's time to come out of hiding.  Have a look in the dresser, in the closet or the coat-rack.  I found some clothing labels that didn't exactly fill me with joy, but with a sense of dread.  That moment when you realize many of your clothes might have been made by slaves. Yuck.  The following two posts bring home the need for more re-using, buying local, investment in higher quality clothing and reducing spontaneous purchases. The posts are very well-written and eye-opening.  Kudos to Shannon Whitehead!

6 Things You Should Know About Your Clothes
4 Things to Remember Every Time You Shop for Clothes

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The Shadow Box

Have we actually left the 1970's?  What a world!  Suddenly men didn't have to ask to take off their jackets, women could finally look like men again and you can fill in the details of your story here: ___________________________________________________________.
Just because I found myself with five minutes on my hands, I did this show in between "Hobbys", "Sugar Baby", "Herta Hunderthosen" and "That Other Theater".  You can check out the trailer we did back in January for a little taste.  It opens this Thursday and plays for two weeks!  Click here for Semi-Circle's website.

P.S. Don't tell anyone: We English speakers in Basel are fundamentally spoiled.

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Neue Hobbys Braucht das Land!

Bern is a quaint seaside resort in the middle of a land-locked country.  Here's what I have in my bag I'm taking to Bern: beach chairs, volley ball net, sand, bonfire, tent, sleeping bag, sand, towels, dirt, water bottles, beer cans, sun hat, sarong, sand, badminton rackets, birdies, wind-breaker, cut offs, roller blades, soccer ball and sand, tennis shoes, camera, computer, frisbee, script, notes, cob-webs, picnic blanket, inflatable boat, oars, apron, armbands and sand.  Sounds like a day off, n'est-ce pas?  You have no excuse not to visit!  Neue Hobbys Braucht das Land! is an original production written (in German), directed by and starring Michael Steiner, Andy Tobler and Katrine Veith.  The three grapple with starting a free-time association and their different hobbies with enjoyable and adverse déroulement.  FYI: I'm doing the props and costumes so I think it's appropriate here to say thank you to all my friends and neighbors who generously helped contribute with the offer of the things they were going to give to the Salvation Army anyway.  Thank you!

In the Keller Theater of the Schlachthaus in Bern, it premieres this Wednesday and only plays four nights: 11-14 April.
More info at the Schlachthaus website here:
Neue Hobbies Braucht das Land!
Wish you were here,
Mrs Crocodile

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One of the nicest things you could say to some artistic types is this: "I really like how you think outside the box."  Be careful it might come out sounding like a pick up line.  I'm willing to bet my hard earned artistic cash, that most of our thinking occurs physically outside of boxes, on long walks, in the swimming pool, going up or down mountains, attached by the feet to long flat sticks called skis, gazing out of train windows, even inside of our shoebox abodes.  Here are some of the initial ideas for some Shadow Box moods and costumes, they didn't always fit in the little boxes.  Insert emoticon here ______.

The Shadow Box Collage Rendering: Brian, Beverly and Mark

The Shadow Box Collage Rendering: Joe, Steve and Maggie

The Shadow Box Collage Rendering: Agnes and Felicity

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Childbirth is painful, other births less...

Chicken wire is murder to sit in for long periods of time.

If somebody asks me: "Do you have a hobby?"  I don't like my answer because "Cutting stuff up into little pieces" comes out sounding mental.  This is why I'd like to express a very big THANK YOU to everyone who came to the Schleiferei last night to eat together and midwife the birth of my characters in the story of Frau Herta Hunderthosen.  Actress and Director Nicolaia Marston read the voices of the characters, Producer Andrew Fernandes cooked the best grub this side of the Ganges and the Salon was organized by the delightful Costume Designer Eva Butzkies.

Everyone said incredibly nice things about my passion for cutting stuff up and thoroughly encouraged me to continue.  It's times like these when having the creative bug, a pair of scissors and a whole heap of poor hungry creative friends is wildly worth it.  And get this: nobody thought I was mental!

Not many people actually ask me if I have a hobby.  I encourage you to ask this question more often.  Repeat after me:

"Hi!  I'm (fill in the blank).  Nice to meet you!  What are your passions?"  Now go ask everyone at the next bus-stop.

Frau Herta Hunderthosen is born.  She is passionate about dresses.  Goodness knows I've got to DO something with her.

Stay tuned...
Yours,
Mrs Crocodile

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Gummi Bears, Collectors and the Joys of 2012

Is there anything less sexy than gummi bears?  And do not try to get me pumped on the glycerine-free or bio-varity either.  Gummi bears do not work for me.  I hide them from the kids.  So please stop putting them in my mailbox.  There are lots of other things that fill me with joy when I find them in my mailbox: postcards from far away places, money, theater tickets, whisky truffes from Schiesser, Krischmagroonli from Gilgen and most things homemade.  Sadly, by forces which will remain nameless,  I now have started a clandestine collection of gummi stuff, which is getting harder and harder to hide from my children: gummi cola bottles, gummi skeletons, gummi race cars, gummi-organic-bears, and something called "sour rings" also originating from the gummi family.  Rather than start a museum, I would like to donate my collection to the next student production I work on.
If you want to do something that would fill me with joy, go see "Das Kind von Noah"  by Eric Emmanuel-Schmitt now playing in German in Theater Stok, Zürich.  It's a beautiful story about, guess what? A collector.  It is a story of empathy and courage, put on by Theater 58, directed by Elmar Schubert, starring Bodo Krumweide, Pascal Jordan and Stefan Kollmuss, Costumes by me; they travel all over Switzerland.  So instead of putting gummi-things in my mailbox, here are the dates:
Mi. 25.01.12 20.00 Zürich, Theater Stok
Do. 26.01.12 20.00 Zürich, Theater Stok
Fr. 27.01.12 20.00 Zürich, Theater Stok
Sa. 28.01.12 20.00 Zürich, Theater Stok
So. 29.01.12 19.00 Zürich, Theater Stok
31 31.01.12 20.00 Hechingen D, Stadtsaal
Fr. 10.02.12 20.00 Uster ZH, Qtopia
Sa. 11.02.12 20.00 Uster ZH, Qtopia
Do. 08.03.12 20.00 Thun, Alte Oele
Sa. 17.03.12 20.00 Klosters GR, Kulturschuppen


For more information:  Theater 58 website
And by the way, happy joyful 2012,
Yours,
Mrs-at-least-I-still-have-all-my-teeth-"Gummi"-Crocodile

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The joys of motherhood: cartoons, pj's, coffee

This is threatening to be a short list.  My number one joy of being a mom this week, turns out is not entirely embodied in the two little creatures branded to look like me who insist on carrying one or more of my names around with them, but two other kids. 
The first boy I'm in love with, whose head is shaped like a triangle and speaks with an American accent, is very creative and is always dreaming up stuff like roller-coasters. 
His brother, who I also have a crush on and whose head is very long-shaped, almost never talks, but when he does his accent is English, is the mastermind.  Strangely he reminds me of my engineer grandfather.  He can pull a tiny scrap of paper out of his back pocket, unfold it 20 times and brandish the blue-print for the roller-coaster which starts at one end of town, snakes around across town and comes back several times.   They get working on it.  They build it.  Their mom never finds out and it all gets cleared up magically. 
They are some of the most creative kids I know, actually step brothers, called Phineas and Ferb.  They are animated.  And they have a pet platypus who is a secret agent.  Haven't you always imagined your pet was a spy?  So obviously my number one reason for being a mom today?  Watching old episodes of Phineas and Ferb.
Enjoy here:

I know it's "doof", but I love it.
Yours,
Mrs. Dr. "Doofenschmirtz" (rough translation: "like I'm so dumb it hurts")

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When crocodiles hibernate...

Happy December!  I decided to break my "Winterschlaf" and wake up for the holidays.  There are several reasons for that.  Against my better judgement, I shall give you a reason for waking up and coming back into this world:
A blogger I happened to really enjoy checking out, in a blogeuristic-(rhymes with voyeuristic) kind of way, stopped posting, and I was sad.  It was a death.
Now you can clear your throat and say: "I'm sorry". 
My main motivation for spending my precious time living other people's lives, just suddenly, wasn't there anymore.  What to do?  I stopped reading blogs.  I stopped blogging.  I moved on from fantasizing about other people's lives.  I lived life.  I got a life.  Oh my.  It does sound awful.  I'm feeling very tired again.  So tired I think I'll go back to sleep.
Sing me a lullaby.  Sing me a sweet, sweet lullaby.
Your favorite croco...zzzzz....ile...zzz....
PS if you are really wondering what I've been up to lately, click here: www.mrscrocodile.com.  It's the newly renovated Mrs Crocodile web-site

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Sculptor Henry Moore:

 "The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is -- it must be something you cannot possibly do."

@import url(http://www.google.com/cse/api/branding.css);

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Do you have ivy in your underpants? Or are you an Ivy League fairy?

Next time I do a show with fairies in the woods I want them all to be wearing these special leaf suits.  I think it would look particularly stunning on the men, don't you?  Admit it, haven't you dreamed your whole life of wearing a green spandex leotard and walking around with a bunch of leaves sewn into it?  Seriously, guys don't be alarmed. Camouflage is an accepted pattern for much of men's clothing-this is just taking it to another level.  When you think about it, warriors, hunters and soldiers have been wearing some kind of camouflage since the all-mighty split up the turf in the Garden of Eden.
The poor "man"-nequin in the picture has these ivy leaves nailed onto his styro-foam, headless shape.  But that's okay, I can only assume that being headless and styro-foam might add something to the camo effect and the show I'm costuming in my mind.  It would be good too if the actresses could carry these headless guys around as props and talked to them, right?  I may be deluded in my take on it, but I like it like that.  Come to think of it, I'll take a whopping helping of delusion any day over a plain old reality sandwich.
Yours,
Mrs Croco
PS These mannequins live at Parfumerie Haycinth in Basel, Switzerland

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"There's no place like home..."

There's no place like home, except of course if you can go out to a musical dressed up all snazzy-like; Mrs Crocodile asked musical fan Simone Jaccoud of Basel, Switzerland about her look for the Rocky Horror Picture Show:
 
Mrs Croc: "What are you wearing?" 
Simone: "Black and white polka dot dress and butterfly brooch, H&M;
"Dorothy, the Wizard of Oz" shoe necklace, online shop, home-made stuff, USA;
Feather Earrings, feathers in hair, black gloves, black handbag, Claire's Accessories, Basel;
Leggings with roses, Coop/Nulu, Basel;
Ankle boots, you young convoy: www.eboutic.ch half price;
Heart Balloon, Blume 2000, SBB Basel, Central Train Station."

Mrs Croc: If you could wear anything in the world regardless of cost, time period etc., what would it be?  Simone: "The real sparkly red shoes Dorothy wore in the Wizard of Oz."

Mrs Croc: Me Too!  Because there's no place like my Home (page)!  Thanks Simone!

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Crocodile Skin Peeling...Restructuring

"Buckle up that seat belt!  Let's take a ride and see if Mrs Crocodile is back!" said the woman with apple fritter eyeballs who drives like a bat out of hell because she has a tea cup glued to her right hand and a designer armchair as a mouth.  Her cousin in the back seat whose mouth is where her eyes should be says "Great! The engine has no gas but we'll see how far we can get coasting." 
Dear Readers, Just back from the Mrs Croco skin-peeling, and restructuring the subconscious of a reptile--which takes longer than you might think, and other busy-ness stuff.  I hope you enjoyed your little blogiday from
Yours truly,
Mrs Croco

The Art Basel at the Crocodiles: part 3

The management has taken into account that some readers may find the subject of the Art Basel Spin Off Event, Gallerie Muc, a bit tiresome.  However, the PR department at Mrs Crocodile is undergoing some major managerial shifts, so we ask our followers to be patient as we are in the process of writing up new bylaws and printing new marketing material.  In addition to this, at our AGM, which was held between the hours of 7:30-7:45 last Friday, over a plastic bowl of frosted flakes and long life milk, two of the board members, who were for some reason more awake than the coffee drinking CEO, put a statement forward: "Why do you have to stay up half the night sewing costumes for those other people, when we can't even find our underwear?"  The CEO said she would take the matter up with her PA, who has taken the rest of the week off.

Keep watching these pages for more updates on the state of the ART (at the Crocodiles) and maybe something about RENT.

We remain, yours faithfully,
The office of the CEO

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Art Basel at the Crocodiles: part 2

Heart by Alla Crocodile, 2011

Introducing: Gallerie Muc: the latest of Art Basel's spin off events.  Gallerie Muc's founder, Coco Crocodile, speaking in an unidentifiable accent from a country-formerly-called-home, had this to say about the gallery's upcoming show, Pushing Buttons: "This show deals with pressing issues I feel the world needs to know, like why you should never show a six-year-old how to use the enlarge function on your color photocopier."  
The show is set to coincide with the opening of Art Basel.  We contacted the artist, who prefers to be known only as Alla and asked where she gets her ideas: "I tried pushing buttons.  I didn't know what I was doing actually.  I can't read.  Very well.  But my mom showed me what all the buttons do and then how to enlarge stuff and well, now I'm famous.  Mom keeps complaining that the budget for toner has gone through the roof and that it's cutting into the mac and cheese budget.  I think she thought kids were just supposed to sit around playing Fruit Ninja on her iphone till we grew up". 


So there you have it, six years old and they go and stimulate the rest of us out of our creative muck.  We now leave the swamp where we go back to Basel in eager anticipation of the ART.


Submitted by Mrs Crocodile's PR team

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The Crocodiles are ready for Art Basel, part 1

"Untitled" by Alla Crocodile, Basel, 2011,

"I was kind of thinking maybe I might like to try my hand at art.  Oh never mind!"  Just throw your hands up and realize that Resistance is Futile.  One day you wake up, and all your friends are doing some kind of art or creative job and you have to jump in too, even the children rope you in there.  I have tried to get Alla and Kazam to clean up their messes, but the "messes" just keep getting more creative.  When Alla was 12 months old it started with spaghetti sauce in circles on the wall next to her high chair and has continued till I realized last night that Alla had a roll of masking tape in her hand and was taping a paper towel to the bars on the balcony.  Once she finished she stepped back form her work and declared, "Mommy, you are not allowed to clean this up, you have to watch it blow in the wind."  The tone of her voice was the thing that brought me back to the here and now and I was able to respond, "Oh!  How perfect.  It's almost Art Basel."
Yours,
From the balcony,
Mrs Crocodile

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Are you a Lebenskünstler?

One of my all-time favorite words in German is "Lebenskünstler".  Direct translation: "an artist of life".  Well now doesn't that just sound nice?  Not only because I have found no English equivalent, but because it is one of those words that can't decide if he's got a positive or negative connotation.  He doesn't know if he's coming or going.  Perhaps best described as resourceful, a Lebenskünstler is a person not an adjective.  He has something of the "letting go" of the artist, something that says, "Well yeah, you want such a big house and such a big car and such a big wife, husband, kids, etc..  But I am happy with what I have so I'm chilling out and enjoying life here.  I take my time.  I do not allow myself to be stressed.  I use my potential.  I live in the now.  I'm an artist.  I'm a soul."  But it rings less like Dr. Suess narrative than my description does.

So since Spring has hit in all her Glory, I encourage you to be a Lebenskünstler (masculine) or Lebenskünstlerin (feminine), at least for one day or maybe for the rest of the year...

Yours,
Mrs Crocodile

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Take me or leave me...

There is a special place in my Croco heart for the character of Joanne from RENT.  Imagine in a few years, when Joanne and Maureen have smoothed out the first years' jitters of a new relationship, Joanne will be on the boards of directors of almost every organization campaigning for women's rights in New York City and will therefore be very busy, because she makes lists in her sleep.  Meanwhile Maureen will be a very good artist and business woman.  But for now they are still in the "There-will-always-be-women-in-rubber-flirting-with-me" stage of the relationship.

Joanne does defend herself and say to Maureen: "I'm not a theater person" But yes, you are, my dear Jo Ann (different spelling intentional here), you are more theater than most of us.  And we love that!  In Semi-Circle's production of RENT, Joanne will be played by Ariane Wildberger. 

Now if Mom-Won-One and Mom-Tu-Two don't comment on this post, I will disown them,


Yours, I'm dead serious, and it's almost my birthday!!!
Mrs Croco

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The King, The Crocodile and I...

Surviving the aftermath of a Royal Wedding and trying to clean up crocodile muck...Here is the burning question: if they bottled the stuff that goes into relationships and sold it on a shelf at the supermarket, how long would it take you to choose Charles and Camilla Brand over the Cate and William Variety?  A tough decision: just slightly harder than the difference between L'Oreal and Nivea.  The fact is, most of our relationship histories look a lot more like the tried and true love of the Charles and Camilla Brand.  I would, though, bet the francs I spend on shampoo (but not the ones I spend on mousse, hair-spray, conditioner, hair-mask and hairdressing) that most of us would want our hair to be better than the reality and go for the new fresh love of Cate and William.  Well, you know, the packaging is nicer, even if, "Gasp!" he's balding.
I'm only writing this to help my readers stave off total and complete depression from not yet having found a prince or princess.  So:
1)  Get out of your lonely tower and stop cleaning and start watching the trees grow.  This is enormously satisfying, as long as you stay in one place long enough.
2) Watch that bit where he puts the ring on her finger.  Wasn't that great?  In Hollywood, the ring slips right on.   Isn't it nice that it was so hard for William to get in on?
3) You can always be happy!  Because your first, second, third, forth and fifth weddings combined, will never be as expensive as theirs.
4) Brighten up! Because if Wills doesn't start with some kind of hair-enhancing product soon, we will have Yul Brynner as the King of England, now wouldn't that be nice?  We could all sing!
5) Don't worry!  You will find your prince or princess.
Yours, singing and cleaning up the muck, talking to birds and mice and generally acting like a princess
Mrs Crocodile

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Maureen rhymes with colleen

There's a little bit of Maureen in all of us, non?  Maureen rhymes with colleen (lower case), cause she playful and a girl (lower case, get it?) and going out with girls and guys and Mark and Joanne can't take it anymore, which is why they dance the tango.  Logic?  No!  Maureen lets it all hang out.  Maureen "will sing native American tribal chants back wards through her vocorder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello-which she has never studied."  And she'll make you "moo"!  Maureen will be played by Denise Lutz in Rent in Basel.

Yours, licking the lips which chowed on the cow that jumped over the moon!
As always, Ms. Maureen Crocodile

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